No matter where you fall on the nuances of geopolitics, the shape of everything has been irrevocably altered over the last year. For me, once safe places have become less so, but others have taken their place over the last 11 months. Once solid communities have fractured and new ones have formed. I’ve had to bid farewell to some cherished relationships that were decades old. Still others bid farewell to me, because they did not want to embrace my Jewishness or deal with my advocacy for my community.
Neither are negotiable.
I grieve for each one lost and yet, I don’t regret the changes. So here we are. Staring at the high holidays just around the corner, at the anniversary of 10/7 ahead. Looking back on some things that once seemed solid but weren’t.
I’ve been on Facebook for a really long time. Like, a really long time. 95% of my friends are there, most of my family, it has pictures and memories of just under 2 decades of my life. I’m a chronically ill and disabled person and I don’t get out much, so deactivating my account feels a lot like a little earthquake. But the platform is not a good or a safe place right now, given one thing or another. It was eliciting emotions that felt bitter, sour, and angry and I do not want to be a bitter, sour, or angry person.
That’s a life-suck. And it’s absolutely a time-suck.
I turned it off.
And now? I’m a little at loose ends with the space that makes. Not sure what’ll happen to fill it. More sketchbook time, to be sure. Maybe more time in the sun? I guess we’ll find out.
I just started a new series of little watercolors, 100Hamsas, so we’ll see where that leads. Right now it’s going down a very watery and almost abstract theme and I’m liking it. I’m trying to keep it chill because the goal is in part to see what exists beyond Facebook, but here are some of the things I want to do with all my free time in the next 30 days…
1. Fill up 1 of my many half-finished sketchbooks.
2. Knit some of an Emotional Support Chicken.
3. Reorganize, re-outline, and plot my project for national novel writing month which I will not be doing via the official site because Reasons.
4. Paint at least 20 pieces towards my project goal.
5. Write some really good storyworld RP with friends.
6. Navigate the high holidays with my mental and emotional health intact.
I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next 30 days of not going onto a platform that upsets me and wastes my time. 100% less bitterness and anger, I hope. Better art. More pieces of original art hidden in little free libraries. More peace. More steps. More words on paper.
We’ll see where it goes.
I so love your idea of leaving free art in your nearby little libraries. It just seems … a little magical, which I think our world wants more of. (And, Good On You for taking care of yourself. 💖🪬💖)
I’m so glad you are taking care of yourself! These are all positive changes. I look forward to the updates!